If Real Zombies Ever Learn Parkour, We’re Doomed.

If Real Zombies Ever Learn Parkour, We’re Doomed.

Leave A Comment!

I read every comment, and respond to quite a few as well! It's pretty common that someone else will respond to your comment before the next page's update, too...

51 Comments So Far...

  1. Ken_Cypher

    Ok. That is ~IT~! I have heard that word ONE TIME TOO MANY! Up to this point, I have only heard parkour in reference to movies, and have always understood it to mean shorthand for “Par for course”, which does NOT make sence in this context. It is time for Google to do it’s job!


    Ah. Freerunning. Why don’t movie reviewers just SAY that in the first place.

  2. MadMann135

    This page is so funny. Shame that guy is probably going to be a vamp-snack.

  3. Neithan Diniem

    Cause parkour sounds so much more foreign…

    Ninja zombies… They come for you.

  4. Ken_Cypher

    MadMann: Personally, I’d rather he have his gun snapped in half, with part of it shoved through his heart while the other half planted right between the eyes. Extra points if a warning is written with his blood.

  5. hariman

    Ignominious death #271: Killed by a Vampire in a costume while your friends ignore your cries for help.

    I find it interesting that Sergeants (or at least unit leaders) get Wario hats. OK, they’re not Wario hats, but they seem like a big ol’ “shoot me” hat to me.

  6. hariman

    Ignominious Death #272: Same as 271, but you’re in a costume too.

    Ignominious Death #1: “I only had two days till retirement!”

    I keep using that word. I do not think it means what I think it means.

  7. Parou

    All I can say is ‘If the sniper is too stupid to run when the zombie comes for them, then their death is needed to clean their detritus out the gene pool’

  8. MadMann135

    The vamp snack is only the insult to the injury he is going to get. We all know his chances of survival are low but because it is Jigsaw, a young vampire that is going after him chances are that he will be fed on then terminated once and for all are high

  9. EvilSupahFly

    Just like I predicted, it’s going to hit the fan now! This guy is in DEEP shit now, and if it was bad to begin with, it’s worse now because it’s ‘Saw! You go, undead, angry, ninja girlfriend! Yeah!

  10. Janus

    “Well. I’m boned.”

  11. nikolai60

    I’m betting either the next page is this guy getting ripped to shreds or cuts to another group for cliffhanger.

    Now, cause i have to…..

    HAHAHAH THERE HE IS, that’s my Shinjzo, clueless as ever to regulations

  12. Anonymous Commentor

    @Neothan Diniem & Ken_Cypher:
    Parkour is actually about getting from point A to point B as quickly as possible, using specialized moves to get over/across obstacles. Free Running is similar to Parkour, but concentrates on the showiness of the moves as opposed to the effeciency of them.

  13. Sulucamas

    w00t Shinjzo and Brunhidden! 😀 But are they part of a riot squad…or an exterminator squad? Yikes!

    And just who’s garden is that, anyway? I’m sure they won’t be happy with the mess. (At least it’s a cool way for Mordecai to go. 🙂 )

  14. Sulucamas

    *whose* 🙁

  15. Tom Redlion

    Well, someone is definitely about to become a snack for Jigsaw.

  16. Sabreur

    Om nom nom?

    I need to re-read some of the archives, I’ve gotten a bit confused on what all the different types of people are in the comic are. I know we’ve got the various types of “Dead Inside”, of which Vamps are one, but I’m a bit fuzzy on who hates who and why.

  17. hartree

    Geez. I’m starting to think Veled’s right and the Star Org IS just a bunch of posers. Leaving one of your own without backup when something unexpected happens? That goes against everything I learned in the military.

  18. StringPetounPing

    @Sulucamas : Yes, the three first cameos finally show up. I looked through the few galleries of our dear artist and noticed that Rachel never published Shinjzo Venkra commission badge. In fact, I only counted eleven different badges.

    @hartree : I am not a military myself but I have few friends that are (or was), from what I see they follow the order. If they leave their post and assignment to help Mordecai, they could risk even more lifes. True Mordecai deserve a backup but if they are a good paramilitary organization, they kept few free man in reserve for if they get under more trouble that expected and someone is coming to help (even if Brunhidden doesn’t said it.).

  19. Sulucamas

    @StringPetounPing: It looks like Shinjzo’s badge is still a Work In Progress in the Scrapbook tab in Rachel’s DA gallery. It seems just about finished. 🙂

    Shin looks pretty jaded in the third panel. I wonder if that’ll influence his loyalty to the Org in the future…

  20. nikolai60

    @StringPetounPing and Sulucamas: The delay was mostly my fault, i got the cameo, THEN created Shinjzo, plus it was further slowed down by my poor drawing skills creating him, then complicating his design with cybernetics.

    As for military stuffs, I agree, paramilitary forces don’t have the numbers….or the dedication, to pull off large scale operations, or provide backup for most of their forces. The Star Org is most clearly a private military force, and as such is a business, not a true army. So they’re more worried about the bottom line, cept instead of money, it’s appearance of invincibility.

    And you’re right, Shin doesn’t look happy, and he actually wanted to help, which means she’s probably using the bio I created for him. This means he’s an ex-shocktrooper from a now defunct Talmi military force from the fringe, and is in the Star Org only cause they hired him to pad their stats (he can actually hit the target consistently). It also means he won’t react well to being ordered to fire on fellow Talmi (aka, Binary and Melody).

  21. Eagle0600

    In addition to being showy, freerunning is urban-specific; parkour is not.

  22. hartree

    @nikolai60 That’s exactly the point. You want to cultivate an air of invincibility. You want people to know if they come after one of yours, they will get stomped. No ifs ands or buts. Leaving a trooper hung out to dry as zombie fodder is no way to look invincible. I still think that officer needs to be slapped down so hard the taste drops out of his mouth along with his dentures. 🙂

  23. nikolai60

    @hartree actually for a force like the Star Org, this is exactly how they deal with it. The second he fired that second round he stopped being in the Star Org and was most likely declared a rouge agent. He’ll be disowned, allowed to die, and it’ll be covered up, with no Star Org losses or record. Remember, they’re not a full blown army, they’re a political one. They don’t make the right decisions, just what looks good on paper.

  24. Sulucamas

    @nikolai60: I’d seen your drawings before, but I hadn’t read all the text you put beneath with them. Very cool bio. 😀 Anyone with an armored heart probably won’t be dying anytime soon!

    @nikolai60 and hartree: Maybe Mordecai was more of a sniper than a squad designated marksman, and so operated in isolation from the rest of the group. It’s 2,000 years from now, so maybe he wouldn’t even need a spotter like they do today.

    I though Brun’s remark about the second shot was because it gave away Mordecai’s position (ie bad sniper). For that matter, why did he even fire that second shot?! There’s no way he could have been aiming at Maggie and hit Jig in the heart.

  25. hartree

    @nikolai60: Sounds like the Star Org is a futuristic version of Scientology’s Sea Org. That’d explain the willingness to toss someone under the bus at the drop of a zombie’s hat. And them hiring Shin to pad their stats? Yeah. Sounds like Veled had em pretty well figured out. Poor Shin. I just hope it doesn’t get him waxed in too messy a way.

  26. StringPetounPing

    @hartree : I still said that they were a better choice that the Celigan troops. Veled stay in my mind a unpredictable beast. She cannot be trusted yet. Beside if you read military history, this is not rare to see high officer sacrificing mens to get an tactical advantage or simply in hope that lady Luck be kind and make the enemy do a mistake while attacking the bait. I see people get killed for less (Pearl Harbour could be a good example).

  27. nikolai60

    @those still in this conversation: He’s most clearly a sniper, though he still failed to follow an important rule. Battlefield sharpshooters instead don’t worry about being seen, and openly fire as much as tehy can from same position, just getting the kills while snipers fire and move on (usually). He probably fired out of overcomfidence.

    The Star Org seems to follow a similar opperational procedure to paramilitary forces, while it does happen in proper militarys, i don’t see them doing it so publicly. I can’t say if Veled and her soldiers would have been a better choice, but things could have gone better.

    And yes, Shin’s very durable thanks to all the near death experiences he’s had before. Sadly the most experience he has with the dead inside is a very brief encounter with zombies that ended with a few bursts of machinegun fire (there were more soldiers than zombies). And his expierence with Celstia (hope i spelled that right) is non-existant. so either way he’s clueless to significance in society.

    And thank you for the compliments on Shins character designs ^_^

  28. hartree

    @StringPetounPing: Yeah, using the Celigans would have been giving Veled her own private security/intel/dirtywork force that would follow the show’s lead only when it was strictly convenient. 😉
    @nikolai60: Yeah, Shin’s a pretty neat character. Kudos! The officer (Brunhidden?) just hit a nerve with me. Mordecai may have screwed up, but he deserves better, IMHO. 🙂

  29. Brunhidden

    im just surprised anyone figured out i was me in this conversation

  30. Sulucamas

    @StringPetounPing and hartree: Would the Celigan troops all be… Celeste? Could they even stoop so low as to provide *security detail*? Either way, Veled probably wouldn’t need them to get what she wants. XD

    @Brunhidden: With such a quality cameo badge, how can you be surprised? 😉

  31. hartree

    @Sulucamas: Veled offered Celigan troops, so I figured they were an option.


    Just maybe not a great option…

  32. Sulucamas

    @hartree: I was just tryin’ to make fun of the Arrogant Celeste stereotype :-P. If you’re trying to staff such a big spaces station, I can see cost being an issue. I agree, even if they were free, they’re probably not a great option.

    If Veled hates the Org so much, but their parent organization considers her their Messiah, how does the Church of the Endless relate to the Celigan military/government? (…and the price of tea in China!)

  33. nikolai60

    Celigan troops are almost invariably more reliable by what little we know about them. Animosity with the dead inside would cause problems but I doubt they’d disobey Veled. As such situations like this probably wouldn’t happen if they were around.

  34. Brunhidden

    on the other hand star org, particularly its human members, probably have more experience handling the undead as it were

  35. nikolai60

    at this point you’d think most mainstream military forces would be familiar with the problem, regardless of race, and even if not, I’d bet the Celigan military forces have humans as well, but i could be completely wrong

  36. taltamir

    [quote]Ah. Freerunning. Why don’t movie reviewers just SAY that in the first place.[/quote]
    Because Parkour is not english… and when a writer who is writing in english tries to sound more intelligent then they actually are they would throw in words in foreign languages.

    This is not limited to enlish speakers, this is practices in every country and every language.

    It is truly frustrating to try to be reading something in hebrew, german, or japanese only to have it peppered with horrid mangling of english words, french words, etc. Oi Vey…

  37. Sulucamas

    @Brunhidden: More experience because the Org’s been around for so long, or because of the whole “only humans are vampires” rule?

    @Brunhidden and nikolai60: What do you think determines the strength of a zombie? How powerful they were before death? I’m sure they don’t all shamble, but it’d probably be very unusual to see one parkouring towards you, right?

  38. nikolai60

    oh look, we have our first flamer, wonder how this will end

  39. Sulucamas

    I thought so too at first, but the quote about “MOVIE reviewers” makes it seem specific, and potentially earnest and harmless. If I’m wrong, then it should be kept from starting by ignoring it. No need to fan the flames, right?

  40. hartree

    @Sulucamas: I think nikolai60 has it right about the Celigan troops agreeing to be security. Even if they are arrogant, Veled has a multitude of ways of getting you to see her point of view. Just ask Belle about how Veled can make you do a little “soul searching” 🙂

  41. Sulucamas

    @hartree: 😀 True, don’t mess with Veled! I’m sure the soldiers of the dominant political power would be second to none. It just might not be a great option for the Vaeo family, giving Celigo even more control over an already Celigan-funded operation. It sounds like we’re on the same page here. 🙂

    The next page will hopefully be gory. Any thoughts on how it’ll go down? Ken_Cypher mentioned impalement with a broken rifle. I’m rooting for a Mortal Kombat-style heart removal. 😛

  42. nikolai60

    That’s a good point, they already have so much power, that’d just keep adding on (not like anyone’d argue)

    as for deaths, i’m guessing ripped in half….at least, snyper boy’s in for it either way

    i also find it interesting how we’ve continued on for the entire week, i wonder if this’ll become a regular thing….and i wonder what she thinks of us? loyal fans or complete nutcases

  43. Vulpis

    You know, I keep re-reading the title while waiting for the nex strip, and I keep thinking that this would actually be a fun thing to see in a game. Imagine your average L4D/whatever player…”Ha! I’m up on this roof, the door’s blasted shut, so I can snipe the zombies in the street with impunity. Wait…holy crap! They’re bouncing across the roofs!” 😉

    …okay, now I’m getting the mental image of Undead Gummi Bears. Funky.

  44. hartree

    @nikolai60 Hey, if people are commenting about your webcomic for a whole week you’re doing something right. Far better than nothing but crickets chirping. 🙂

  45. nikolai60

    This is true hartree, this is true. I wonder if the next page will bring as much excitement (of maybe we’ll all just be mesmerized by someones death)

  46. Sulucamas

    @hartree: Word!

    @nikolai60: I’m hoping to be mesmerized! (maybe something like this: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2010/6/9/) Waiting each week is bad enough; I don’t think I could stand such an egregious cliffhanger. 🙂

    @Vulpis: Didn’t Half-Life 2 have some freakishly agile zombies? I remember them leaping up drain-pipes to get to the rooftops. Definitely made things more fun.

  47. Sulucamas
  48. e_voyager

    well someone just got hung out to dry. man i’ve been gone a long while but i’m back and the comic still rocks!

  49. Keiya

    Ken_Cypher: Becase parkour and freerunning are related, but different? Why don’t people say food when they mean McDonalds?

Other People Talking About Us

  1. Tweets that mention Last Res0rt – The Cyberpunk Webcomic. Updates Sundays. » Archive » If Real Zombies Ever Learn Parkour, We’re Doomed. -- Topsy.com
  2. zombie comic

Leave A Comment!

I read every comment, and respond to quite a few as well! It's pretty common that someone else will respond to your comment before the next page's update, too...

Want more?

Finals getting in the way of you enjoying this awesome comic? Want to be the first on your block to get new books and gear? Or just daydreaming about how much better your life would be as a Light Child?

Become part of the Elite List, and you can do it all! Have new comic pages sent straight to your email, get the lowdown on new goodies for sale, and I'll send you a beta copy of the Last Res0rt RPG just for signing up -- and yes, it's FREE!