Objects in Bottle are Larger than they Appear.
Footnote: Not that there’s going to be a quiz anytime soon about Modern Interplanetary Religion, but…
Believe it or not, Scout Aeblis (our purple bunny friend there) isn’t a Christian, but a Pangean.
To best explain the difference, if Christianity’s Bible is Judaism’s Tanach with a few extra volumes tacked on, the Pangean Record is the Tanach, Christian Bible, Koran, a pinch of the Book of Mormon, and at least two other books written on different planets all strung together, put through three translations, run through a shredder, pasted back together in the order that made the most sense… and only then made it to the Editing department, but not before Legal got its claws into it.
The Pangean Record is, in short, the most politically correct religious document in the galaxy, documenting the tales of a planet dubbed Pangea where every known and recognized sentient species* lives together and ends up acting out several biblical tales, with interference being run not by any recognizable species, but by supernatural points of light meant to be stand-ins for angels and demons. Each tale is starred by a duo of biblical characters, even if said pairing never existed in the original documents — Jesus and Magdalene er, Maggie, in this case, have been transformed into an Anyr and a Kendril acting out a poor man’s rendition of Romeo and Juliet.
If you think THAT was a bad adaptation, you should go read the Pangean version of Sodom and Gomorrah. If you don’t have time for the full story, just skip ahead to the part where Sodom and Gomorrah end up in the strip club.
*Footnote to the Footnote: Adharia’s species (not to mention that of her new horned friend) are not currently included in the Pangean Record, and won’t be until their planet (and species) are officially recognized. This is a blessing in disguise, since there’s always a minor holy war whenever the Pangea Corporation has to come out with a new edition of the gospel.